Attribution: US Military, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, will be helping the keeper and Phyllis promote their “Corrupt Presidential Kidnap Plan” by which corrupt presidents constantly kidnap each other until they are reduced to melted butter in the manner of the fairy tale beasts that grabbed each other’s …
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Category:Humor
Kickass and Health Insurance
Attribution: Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, finds the keeper weary of providing brilliant answers to life’s big questions and is confident that he and Phyllis deserve to ask one: How the hell did the insurance gang get such a choke hold on our health scene that the option of dying …
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Kickass and Growing Grandchildren
Photo by Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis with a message for all grandchildren, great and otherwise: If you insist on emerging from your cuddly, cute stage to enter a growth cycle that would shame July corn, try to give your old grandparents—great and otherwise, some warning. …
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Kickass and Sit and Stay
Photo by Phyllis Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, will be starting the new year by assisting the keeper and Phyllis as they review the true significance of “sit and stay!” in their lives. This old dog-training command obviously goes far beyond its original aim of having the target subject actually “sit and …
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Kickass and Hi-Tech
Attribution: Photo by phyo min on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, endorses the keeper’s New Year’s resolution that he will never again complain about the abuse continually bestowed on him, and Phyllis, by the ever-changing tech world. With the subject of tech torture eliminated from the flow of the keeper’s communicating, expect more observations about …
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Kickass and Canadian Visitors
Photo by Phyllis Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, notes that the keeper, being married to Canadian-born Phyllis, feels a special concern with the word out of Canada that the Canadians are through visiting the US due to it having been taken over by the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, especially on 5th Avenue. …
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Kickass and Dead Zoo
Attribution: René Cortin, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper’s recall of the starvation zoo story that never became a news story because the culprit was an acquaintance of the publisher of The Wisconsin State Journal where the keeper was employed. The zoo owner’s plan had been …
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Kickass Milks the Cows
Attribution: Harris & Ewing, photographer, Public domain, via Wikimedia Common By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper offering to teach the ICE agents how to milk cows, a skill that heretofore had been performed by those who were more recent immigrants than all the rest of us and who needed to lay …
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Kickass and a Dog’s Life
Photo by Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper and Phyllis driving a hundred miles with two young passengers to be part of a Phyllis family Christmas gathering at which a gifting game was played, great food was served by Alexis and Jerad and introductions were made to their chickens, …
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Kickass Goes South
Attribution: Florida Memory, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that for many years the keeper would be using these post-holiday days to return his Christmas gifts for cash he could use to buy enough gas to get the hell out of Wisconsin and far enough south to go …
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Kickass and Christmas Accident
Attribution: Photo by Norman Tsui on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, looks over the keeper’s shoulder as he and Phyllis view the tragic Christmas morning news under the headline: “SANTA MISSING AFTER SLEIGH CRASHES INTO NONEXISTENT WHITE HOUSE WING.” The unredacted story followed. “In what witnesses described as a terrible accident, Rudolph, using misinformation from elf …
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Kickass and Good Luck
Attribution: Evan-Amos, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that he and the keeper and Phyllis wish everyone a very merry Christmas and the best of luck in the coming New Year. And isn’t it “luck” that it all comes down to—good luck in dodging the bad ones and …
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