Kickass and Mills in the Reflecting Pool

Attribution: SWinxy, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper’s connection with the beleaguered Washington reflection pool is remote and comes via the night of Oct. 4,1974 when Argentine stripper Fanne Foxe jumped out of Congressman Wilbur Mills’s limo and dove into the pool as an intoxicated Mills …
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False Imprisonment

Attribution: Paul Goyette from Chicago, USA, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Geoff Carter We’re not supposed to be a country that imprisons innocent people. It states in the Declaration of Independence that “all men are created equal” and that “among these are Life, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Happiness” and that it is the …
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Kickass and Tobacco Spitting

Attribution: University of Texas at Arlington Photograph Collection, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, tries to be helpful as the keeper goes off on a Monday morning tangent and wonders where the tobacco industry located the spittoons at the POTUS birthday party on the White House trash dumping area? …
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Kickass and Display Letters

Attribution: Dclemens1971, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog is assisting the keeper and Phyllis with the international garage sale today as it offers the specialty item of 18 outdoor display letters with the following advertising: “For sale: 18 outdoor display letters. Lightly used in a bogus scheme to destroy …
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Kickass and Barn Talk

Attribution: DonkeyHotey, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, works with the keeper to explain “barn talk” under the terms of which the POTUS, during his recent stop in a Wisconsin barn, totally lost his cool and said he hated everybody except himself. Having grown up in a community where …
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See No Evil

Attribution: Clare Black from Morley, UK, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Geoff Carter As a boomer who grew up during what was arguably America’s golden age, I still find it almost unfathomable that our country is teetering so dangerously close to a totalitarian takeover. At the time I came up in the sixties and …
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Kickass and Andy Rooney

Attribution: Stephenson Brown, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in wondering how to get a message to the late Andy Rooney regarding a job opportunity on 60-Minutes, where Andy was a fixture for a long time. That message would advise Andy to stay wherever he is …
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By Hook or By Crook

Illustration by Michael DiMilo By Geoff Carter Say what you will about him, one thing Donald Trump has been able to do is to surprise us —usually with his audacity. From his brazen looting of the National Treasury to his unwarranted and appalling destruction of the East Wing of the White House disgusting, and somewhat …
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Kickass and Ultimate Fighting

Attribution: Bad intentionz, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper and Phyllis barely able to contain their excitement over the POTUS plans to spend millions celebrating his birthday with people beating the living hell out of each other on the White House lawn.  Great stretches of that …
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Kickass and the Bad Kennel

Attribution: Photo by Sasha Sashina on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, agrees with the keeper that he and Phyllis and their friends are living in a once-beautiful planetary adoption “kennel” that has suddenly made euthanasia a major operational policy, has fired the clean-up crew and the high-quality employees, and now accepts only the very tallest dogs …
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No-Win Situation

Attribution: Photo by Igor Omilaev on Unsplash By Geoff Carter “Winning isn’t everything. It’s the only thing.”    —Vince Lombardi “Sixteen times a year, all thirty-two NFL teams give us what we’re looking for: speed, skill, violence, fantasy league orgasms and a final score. No confusion. No doubt. No indecision. A winner and a loser.”             –Mike Barnicle  Winning has …
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