Attribution: Photo by Ajay Kumar Jana on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, in his careful study of this day between Good Friday and Easter, designates it as “Sexy Saturday.” The designation is obvious considering that both the Easter Bunny and colored eggs were historically chosen as Easter symbols for their representation …
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Category:Humor
Kickass and Double-Breasted Suit
Attribution: Marcus Kaiser 【 MqaTalk 】, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reminds the keeper of his responsibility in guiding the Easter style dress parade, an honor which he earned many years ago by purchasing the very last double-breasted men’s suit in the Midwest, maybe the entire country. Double …
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Kickass and the Big April Fool
Illustration by Michael DiMilo By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, agrees with the keeper and Phyllis that the fun went out of April Fool’s Day when you could no longer tell Mom there was an elephant out on the lawn or a mouse in the cereal box. And, of course, in this day and …
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Kickass and White House Dogs
Attribution: Maarten Honnebier, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper in possession of a secret White House memo that seeks the services of guard dogs to accompany ICE agents on their visits to schools and parking lots where very dangerous little foreign felons lurk. The secret document …
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Kickass and Dumb Legislators
Attribution: Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the Keeper and Phyllis and the rest of Wisconsin in wondering just what the hell it is that puts utter fools in too many of its Washington legislative posts, and can anything …
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Kickass and Migration Oddities
Photo by Geoff Carter By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis in looking to Nature for information on yesterday’s national “migration” to the sidewalks and streets across the country and then back home to weekend chores, pleasures and malcontent. In addition to the well-known migrations of caribou and monarchs and …
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Kickass and Old Kids
Photo by Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper pretty much denying birthdays, especially his own, but also those of his children who have somehow gotten so old they creak and limp. Even the youngest—Mike, who reportedly is now 70 years old and does not have the decency to lie …
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Kickass and Birds and Frogs
Attribution: Photo by Elisa Stone on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports a major shift in the keeper’s area of interest this spring from “birding” to “frogging” based on DNR information suggesting that he is less likely to be comfortable in the company of millions of migrating warblers and more at ease consorting with emerging …
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Kickass and Surviving High Tech
Attribution: Photo by Ilya Pavlov on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper as Phyllis does her best to keep him precariously balanced on the gangplank of today’s high-tech ship as it sails into the seas of push-button wars, in-house thievery and unopenable plastic containers. The keeper lived most of his life when going …
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Kickass and Telephone Talk
Attribution: Photo by Marjan Blan on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, sympathizes with the keeper in his extreme telephone ineptness in this phone-saturated world that requires him to have a fulltime personal telephone operator—Phyllis, of course. It is the keeper’s sense that his phone difficulty began with his very first phone call when his mother …
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Kickass and the Outhouse Threat
Attribution: Lee Coursey from Decatur, GA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that as the keeper reviews his life with emphasis on the events, like wars and accidents that might have ended it early on, he realizes he has not dealt with the real possibility that he could …
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Kickass and Dog Dementia
Attribution: Photo by Raul Torrento on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog assumes that along with the keeper and Phyllis, everyone watched the 60 Minutes feature on the benefits of studying dogs’ dementia to shed light on how it happens with humans. Being at the age where his recliner could turn into an F-35 at any …
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