Attribution: Movidi, FAL, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports on the keeper’s efforts to establish an international relationship with the Chinese individual who put the wrong size screw in an unassembled drink holder package.
Since package labeling showed that a California company was involved with a warning that too much exposure to the plastic drink- holder material could cause cancer and birth defects, the keeper will be including California as a co-defendant if and when he decides to sue China.
In the meantime, he messages the unknown Chinese individual with the following: “You have to know what you did, and at the very least you owe it to the keeper and the international community to identify your action as either deliberate or inadvertent.”
“In either case you should know that the degree of consternation you caused to an elderly American citizen was so profound that his companion Phyllis requested that he isolate himself so she would not have to hear his colorful expressions.”
“If you did your “wrong screw” thing as a friendly get-acquainted prank, the keeper is trying to laugh along with you, and as soon as he can identify and locate you he plans to come to your house and plant thistles in your flower garden!”
“One way or another we can work this thing out short of going to war over Tiawan, involvement in a “risky” pregnancy or slow service at a Chinese restaurant.
“Thanks,
Your American friend!”
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