Illustration by Michael DiMilo
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper’s inside sources have learned that there are White House plans to knock down the Washington Monument obelisk and us the material to fill in the reflecting pool. Since the obelisk is only 555 feet tall and the reflecting pool is 2029 feet long, there will also be room for much of the debris from the Capital Dome which is slated to be demolished and replaced by a giant “Capital Cannon” as designed by Pete Hegseth. The POTUS boasted at a cabinet meeting that the Capital Cannon will fire a missle big and lethal enough to vaporize Alaska, thus eliminating the main land bridge to Russia and the rest of the warring world.
“We are the greatest war machine in the world,” the orange POTUS said, “and only I know how to run it!”
A resounding cheer went up from the Republicans, led by Sec. of Transportation Duffy who said the POTUS was conducting a “masterclass” and it was such a “pleasure to learn from him.”
When this Duffy news got back to Duffy’s home state of Wisconsin there was such a violent outbreak of digestive malfunctioning that public and private utilities were thrown into chaos!
(It was at this point that Phyllis poked the keeper with a soup spoon and told him to stop fantasizing and join the real world for some of her bean soup and a piece of the service berry pie she just baked. Ever obedient, the keeper dis as she requested.)
Comments