Kickass and Being Average by Bill Stokes

Attribution: Mario Purisic mariopurisic, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, is with the keeper in sensing that dwelling on the downside of getting old is a boring subject and tends to be overdone by anyone over the age of 60. In the extreme upper levels of aging, dwelling on it is epidemic and a simple “How are ya?” can elicit a response that includes descriptions of medical imagery, lengthy side-effect details and a prognosis that would befit the guest of honor at a lynching.

The keeper tries to deal with the issue by responding to “How are you?” with “I’m average, how are you?”

This response may mark the keeper as something of a smart ass or on the way down the shadowy trail, but it also directs the conversation to what it means to be average, and most people tend to agree that “average” is okay.

Phyllis has given up on trying to convince the keeper that he is above average or she would not be living with him.

The keeper tries not to argue with Phyllis.