Attribution: Photo by Pete Godfrey on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, noting the keeper’s reference to an old Kickass post, advises the bald eagle that its days as the national bird are as much as over and it should look for a new job, perhaps in recycling.
The historical item is from July 24, 2018 and it relates how the orange POTUS was “startled” by the sudden movement of a domesticated eagle that a visitor had brought into the oval office.
As the eagle is about to find out, you do not “startle” the orange POTUS without there being repercussions. That those repercussions have been so long in coming is testimony to the difficulty of replacing the eagle as the national bird–nobody wants the job under the current conditions.
The turkey said it did not want to risk being confused with the POTUS in Pete Hegseth’s military briefings. The chicken said it was too busy depositing chicken shit in congressional chambers. And the robin begged off due to its concentration in changing its traditional song from “cheer-up” to “beer up” as a more appropriate political survival tactic.
Other birds had their reasons for declining the national bird job, with the crow finally agreeing to take it on a temporary basis and endure the humility of being unfailingly outcrowed by the POTUS.
In the meantime, the keeper will ask Phyllis to check for internet signs of interesting political murmurations they might join.
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