Kickass Divorces POTUS

Attribution: onaeg news agency, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is working with the keeper and Phyllis to draft a divorce petition from the POTUS, with custody of the kids going to their nearest Culvers restaurant. Where does it say—even in the comically convoluted law books, that the divorce …
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Kickass and the Coldest Day

Attribution: Photo by Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper’s plans for this coldest day in years requires very little special equipment beyond a recliner and maybe the hand-knit lap robe from granddaughter Jessie and possibly coffee refills from Phyllis, but not too many so that bathroom trips interfere with the main …
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Kickass and Wind Chill Factor

Attribution: Photo by iuliu illes on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, shivers with the keeper and Phyllis and everyone else as the winter of 2026 uses the irritating “wind chill factor” to report flexing its cold muscle. Prior to the 1960’s when the “wind chill factor” became the mainstay of winter weather reporting, cold weather …
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The Problem

Attribution: Photo by Andriy Miyusov on Unsplash By Geoff Carter Ronald Reagan once said, “Government is not the solution to our problem, government is the problem,” rearticulating the Republican dogma that governmental regulation inhibited American independence and freedom. He also stated, in his 1981 Inaugural Address, “It is no coincidence that our present troubles parallel and are proportionate to …
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Kickass and Volunteers

Attribution: Photo by Austin Kehmeier on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis in saluting the countless people out there everywhere who really define what it means to be a human being, and specifically an American human–a decent, thoughtful, generous, multiethnic American who wears the “VOLUNTEER” label. The VOLUNTEERS are everywhere, quietly …
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Kickass Sues Himself

Attribution: Alchemist-hp (talk) (www.pse-mendelejew.de), FAL, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper following Phyllis’s lead in doing some ancestry work and finding that he may be eligible for a “return-to-sender” trip to Norway. It seems that when Great-grandpa Helgeland stepped off the boat from Norway he signed an agreement …
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Kickass and Minnesota National Guard

Attribution: Photo courtesy of Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper went through Army basic training under a newly activated New Ulm, Minnesota National Guard unit in 1950 at Camp Rucker, Alabama. Close-order drill on the hot Alabama sand was shouted out by Corporal Dormier, and as the keeper …
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Kickass and Burning Theater

Attribution: Courtesy of Orange County Archives, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, shares a quandary with the keeper and Phyllis and everyone else–trapped in a burning theatre of the absurd with only doubtful response to their shouts of “FIRE!” As flames eat through the roof and a madman stars …
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