Attribution: Erik Behrens, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper, considering his unique qualifications, feels an obligation to calm the waters under Canada’s Gordie Howe bridge that is about to open in Detroit.
With a Canadian born wife Phyllis and memories of a Norwegian mother reading him the fairy tale of the mean troll under the bridge threatening to eat the Three Billy Goats Gruff as they tried to cross over the bridge to get at the green grass, the keeper suggests staying within the realm of fairy tales since anything else makes fools of everyone.
Entitled “Little Boy Bonkers,” the fairy tale plot has the main character hit in the head by a hockey puck slapshot from Gordie Howe which shatters Little Boy Bonkers’ head and exposes the fact that he had been living with the stolen brain of Jeffery Epstein.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men could not put Little Boy Bonkers together again, and he was last seen standing on the bridge and shouting to the Canadians that he would huff and puff and blow their house down unless the Three Little Pigs were brought to him in a roasting pan.
The Canadians have responded by offering slabs of Canadian bacon and directions to the intersection of the Yellow Brick Road and the Alcan Highway with offramps to Oz and Washington DC.
