Attribution: Photo By/CreditMeg Hedeen/USFWS
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper claims to have overheard a Monarch butterfly use profanity as it was grabbed by UW scientists who burdened it with a navigation reporting device just as the Monarch was about to head south for the winter.
The exact wording is not certain, but the keeper reports the Monarch as saying in a loud butterfly voice: “Those GD humans stick their GD noses into everything and now they’ve got me carrying a GD electric map on a route I know better than they know the way to the liquor store. JC Almighty!”
As always, in his scientific thoroughness the keeper is checking to see if his early exposure to profanity and his subsequent embrace of it as essential to effective expression might have influenced his profane Monarch report. His conclusion, endorsed by Phyllis who rarely if ever uses profanity, is that given the sorry state of affairs as dictated from the GD rat-infested White House it is not only permissible but necessary for all life forms to use the foulest language possible to properly exercise their befuddled brains. Think in terms of flushing a GD toilet.
Dog barking messages will henceforth include the phrase: “Fetch the GD tennis ball yourself. You threw the GD thing!”
Cats will use the meowing expression of: “As usual I don’t give a GD what you think, I am napping on your GD pillow!”
The keeper advises the cursing Monarchs to have a nice GD trip and to send instructions for making a GD transformative cocoon!
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