Attribution: Zephyris at the English-language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper having the low class to be critical of his mother for passing on to him a cough-trigger mechanism that has him barking “treed” until he is unfit company at weddings and funerals unless the ceremony calls for a moment of unstoppable coughing.
Actually, more than a moment as the “coughing spells” Mom passed along can terminate with a John Phyllips Souza ending that has the cougher holding onto the furniture and gasping for air.
Questioning Mom’s genetic handoff obviously does not reflect on her as a Mom. Most moms, including the keeper’s and Phyllis’s Canadian mom of eleven kids, did what they could with what they had to work with, including those contrary “dad” genes.
The keeper imagines that in the Mothers’ Hereafter Rest Home, the mothers might get together and talk about things like genetic handoff and how it impacted their offspring. The keeper would like to hear his mother talk about her Norwegian father handing off the “coughing spell” genes along with basic decency, generosity, compassion and many other things that made Mom the greatest.
While he is in the vicinity, the keeper would like to hear what Steven Miller’s mother has to say. Maybe even Pete Hegseth’s. Where the heck did those Miller abject cruelty and those ridiculous Hegseth testosterone genes come from?
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