Attribution: NOAA, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, tries in vain to calm the keeper in his frantic insistence that unless the US accurately reads the smoke signals being sent down by a compassionate Canada a fate worse than death is likely to befall the US citizenry.
The failure to comprehend a message in the oldest communication system there is–smoke signals, has put the US residents in such jeopardy, according to the keeper, that their only hope is for them to comply with the Canadians’ smoke signal suggestion and head for the “bush” until the US ignorance plague has run its course.
On this Sunday morning of July 19, 2026, with a renewed smoke signal making the outside air look like chicken broth, the keeper checked with Canadian-born Phyllis to get a clear definition of “the bush” as Canadians see it. Her response being that the bush is “any woods or collection of trees,” comes as a relief to the keeper who has experience in “heading for the woods” in the face of potential adversity.
Just how deep into the woods and how long it will be necessary for US citizens to stay there will depend on current administration testosterone levels as regulated by Pete Hegseth in consultation with RFK Jr. and with POTUS approval.
Maybe the Canadians will send a smoke signal about just when it will be appropriate to come out of the “bush” and KICK ASS!
Kickass and the keeper and Phyllis hope so.
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