Attribution: Ferdinand Georg Waldmüller, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper wondering how he might upgrade the evolutionary status of old men to match that of old women who, after they are no longer able to bear children, are still seen by the one and only evolutionary demand as contributing to the increase in the population of the species.
This very special designation is called “menopause” and it exists only in female humans, one species of chimps and “toothed” killer whales, according to a recent magazine item.
Evolution is not sentimental. Hard truths are all that count, which means that grandmas like Phyllis and all the others have proven their worth in the most demanding area there is and have “menopause” to keep that elevated circumstance in place.
Grandpas, by contrast, have more or less been defined as clutter and laughed out of the evolutionary selectivity sessions. In seeking to remedy this, the keeper is suggesting a process called “funnypause” where old men tell stories and do weird things that make people laugh and therefore live longer and produce more kids.
The science is at least as solid as time on grandma’s lap.
