Attribution: Photo by Dmytro Koplyk on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, woke from his nap late Tuesday to hear the keeper comment to Phyllis that the primary election results again showed no votes for dog catcher.
History shows that this was not always the case: from settlement days, a “dog catcher” was a common elective position in many communities, its function expanding to include other at-large problem animals.
Never, however, has there ever been mention of electing a “cat catcher,” a position that makes some sense since roaming cats kill an estimated 1.3 to 4 billion wild birds every year.
The keeper once did a cover story for the Tribune Sunday Magazine about cats and included facts about the bird damage they do.
Cat people readers suggested he leave town after describing their beloved pets as “roaming killers.”
The keeper struggles now to compare the problem cats with some of the yahoos who were on the ballots yesterday. Those wearing the “I’m this dumb” MAGA hats cannot be allowed to run at large. The keeper and Phyllis will be voting to elect a cat-catcher with a net big enough to capture the narcissistic Republicans before they kill off such common human “birds” as decency and compassion!
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