Attribution: 江戸村のとくぞう, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, is happy to assist the keeper in trying to salvage something out of the US-China meeting fiasco by suggesting that the POTUS be left in China in exchange for the Panda bear slated to immigrate to a US zoo.
This seems like such an obvious answer to so many problems, including immigration that the keeper finds it difficult not to boast about it, beyond Phyllis’s hearing of course.
Local Vilas Park Zoo news is that the giraffe is going to get new quarters—higher ceilings perhaps, and that the resident polar bear may or may not be pregnant. Having mated some time ago, the would-be mama polar bear has a unique inner regulator that will not allow a polar bear pregnancy unless the bear is in good enough shape to handle it.
This evolutionary attribute is unfortunately not transferrable to other species such as humans or Pandas, which would obviously be a consideration for the Chinese as they house the immigrant US POTUS in a cage where he can insult other zoo residents as he chews on bamboo and carves his name on all the biggest trees.
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