Attribution: Photo by Bennet Robin Fabian on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis in their efforts at including all species in the daily commentary by noting that a 20-year-old two-toed sloth has transferred from the Milwaukee zoo to the Vilas Park Zoo in Madison.
Incredibly, even as close as it is to would-be sloths at the state Capitol, Madison did not have a sloth with only two-toes. Now it does, and the reasoning behind the sloth’s move is not clearly defined. Some say it wanted to be closer to the UW so it could get an advanced degree in slothing while others assert that it came to be closer to the UW Vet School and the sloth toe specialists there.
A couple of million years ago there were giant sloths weighing hundreds of pounds and competing with the earliest humans for space and survival.
Does the keeper dare to suggest that a serious glitch in the evolutionary machinery is hinting at a return to some of those earlier aspects and the sloth move from Milwaukee to Madison is simply a sample of a much bigger sloth move that sees a giant sloth claiming more toes than any other sloth and grabbing up most of the best sloth trees and territory for itself?
It is important to stay on top of sloth activity as thousands will be doing across the nation today to tell the many-toed giant sloth to get the hell out of their trees. (Silver Badgers on Gammon Road at 2 pm. Everyone welcome.)
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