Attribution: Maarten Honnebier, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper in possession of a secret White House memo that seeks the services of guard dogs to accompany ICE agents on their visits to schools and parking lots where very dangerous little foreign felons lurk.
The secret document came mixed with Epstein files the White House was attempting to throw away, and it specified that recruited dogs would be trained to bite traitorous children of all ages and chase grandmothers out into traffic.
Called “Maga Mutts,” the dogs will be housed in the wreckage of a huge ballroom originally used by cool cats to stage seances and hold sleepovers under Epstein conditions.
An executive order promises the Maga Mutts the standard POTUS treatment: Elaborate praise followed by a “fetch” misstep, followed by abrupt dismissal and then a trip to either the adoption room or the euthanasia table.
(Sometimes when the keeper goes off on one of his fantasy rants, Phyllis simply ignores him. Other times she might say “Good Boy” and bring him another cup of coffee. Today on the eve of April Fool’s Day it could go either way.)
