Photo by Bill Stokes
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper pretty much denying birthdays, especially his own, but also those of his children who have somehow gotten so old they creak and limp. Even the youngest—Mike, who reportedly is now 70 years old and does not have the decency to lie about it.
Driving home from the hospital after Mike’s birth, the keeper had two-year old Rick in tow and stopped to check out a fishing hole whereupon Rick mistook green surface algae for solid lawn and plunked out of sight like a diving frog.
Stories have grown over the years about the keeper’s plan to limit the number of boys in the family by drowning one every time another one was born.
The plan was never put in place and the keeper now has four old sons with whom he can have meaningful aches-and-pains conversations. He also sympathizes with Phyllis as being the first born of ten, mostly boys, and having two sons of her own.
As a blanket cover in their matriarchal/patriarchal roles, the keeper and Phyllis wish all of their old sons—and daughters, a happy birthday and hope they are able to get out there on this “NO Kings 3” day with mom and dad.
