Attribution: DJ Mapping, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, tries to help the keeper adjust to the POTUS plans to go to war with either Mexico or Canada, both countries obviously being highly questionable neighbors as seen in the incisive analysis of the Commander In THIEF.
By way of preparing to do his part, the keeper finds that of the souvenir remnants of his Korean era military heroics, all that remain is his duffle bag, a mess kit and a non-issue sleeping bag. The implication is clear—when the call-up comes from Pete Hegseth for the keeper to join the invasion force at either Brownsville or Duluth he will be equipped only to eat, sleep and carry things, like chocolate treats, in his duffle bag.
Aware of Phyllis’s fondness for chocolate he will pack extra items in case she decides to accompany him as he goes to war, which is more likely if the war is with Mexico since Phyllis has family in Canada where she was born.
In preparing for resumption of his military life after so many years, the keeper will not be following any illegal orders nor any legal ones and may in fact issue a few orders of his own for consumption by the Commander in THIEF: stripped of their obscenities, the keeper’s orders will simply suggest an impossible illicit physical contortion for the POTUS after which he is to get into a jeep with Pete and follow Louise and Thelma over the cliff.
