Attribuion: Photo by Ayla Verschueren on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, is sharing with the keeper and Phyllis the top-secret dog intelligence that a desperate attempt was made by the White House staff to put in place a “First Dog” so the POTUS could claim that his dog ate all existing copies of the Epstein files.
The scheme broke down when no dog could be found willing to live with the current White House occupant who has usurped the dogs’ method of marking territory and is now threatened by the peculiar and unpleasant canine post-coital hook-up that dogs obviously consider unpleasant and unnecessary to their sexual fulfillment.
As the POTUS “the dog ate it” plan failed so did the one to bury the Epstein files in the kitty litter box. Cats expressed the opinion that there was a limit to what could justifiably be deposited in their litter boxes, plus none of them were willing to share White House space with a cat like Melania.
Kickass promises further updates and is currently investigating a report that the Epstein files have been built into an eagle’s nest in northern Wisconsin where Musk was last seen brandishing a golden chainsaw.
An exhausted Kickass will be napping now!
