Attribution: W.carter, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Photo by Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, noting the keeper’s long experience in dealing with seasonal rotations, consulted with him on the appropriate reaction to the first “dusting” of snow on portions of the local landscape. The keeper’s response follows:
“Don’t cry. Crying only turns tears into icicles and makes it harder to see treacherous icy spots.
“This early signal of a long miserable winter to come inevitably stirs emotional distress and putting it into perspective is important: it will not be as bad as if a horse stepped on your head and then refused to move off until next April.
“Reviewing your past attempts to run away from the coming winter only proves once again that you are dumber than a tufted warbler and can’t handle seasonal migration.
“Hibernation works only until Phyllis launders the bed sheets and suggests it is time to get out the heavy coats and snow boots.
“With snow and ice appearing this early in November, the keeper wonders if it connects in any way with the record-setting closure of the inept US government?
“If Santa is indicted by the POTUS for past illegal border crossings will Christmas be cancelled?”
(The keeper may trickle a wee bit of brandy into his snowy morning coffee.)
