Illustration by Michael DiMilo
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis in noting that yesterday was “Constitution Day” marking the 250the anniversary of the framers signing the Constitution which more or less informed the king of England to pick up his trinkets and get the hell back to his little island of prudes and pretenders.
This action might be considered historically rude and the keeper is suggesting that as a gesture of friendship, the US offer to not only acknowledge the English King for what and who he is but also offer the Brits a second king—a spare king, who just happened to arrive in England from the US on Constitution Day.
This spare king is experienced at wiping his feet on the people and ignoring their suffering from an isolated “castle-like” setting and is more than willing to ride in a carriage in parades marking his royal status.
In gifting the spare king, it is requested that the English saying of “God save the King/Queen” be changed to “Goddamn all Kings and all they stand for!”
(Note to the pilots of Air Force One: You may face criminal prosecution for aiding and abetting the ban against all immigration into the US of suspected undesirables. ICE agents will be meeting you upon landing. Have your passports ready.)
