Illustration by Michel DiMilo
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in his curiosity regarding the messages from thousands of pulpits this Sunday morning on how to behave in a manner that gives the best chance of going to heaven; and then he notes a message from the POTUS “commander in thief” that tells Sen. Schumer to “go to hell.”
The keeper is not aware of Schumer’s church habits but suggests the possibility of an impossible conflict should a clergy counselor instruct the senator on his chances of going to heaven and then Schumer gets this order from his commander in thief to “go to hell!”
It would be the keeper’s advice, without benefit of Phyllis’s input, that Schumer see what kind of deals he can cut from the two destinations and then make his decision accordingly. The keeper has found it much easier to bargain with the gatekeepers of hell, but it is obviously different for everyone.
Good luck, Schumer, and “See you around!”
