Attribution: Aerra Carnicom, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s advice for getting along with Canada, citing his Canadian-born wife Phyllis and his many fishing trips to Ontario with family and friends.
1. Do not imply that you have unlimited resources and could buy whatever suits you, including a wife or a fish.
2. Put your ego on hold and resist the temptation to beat your chest like a demented ape.
3. Tell the truth and admit that Canada has more trees than the US and you covet every limb.
4. When Canadian relatives or friends come to visit do not talk to them about Canada geese messing up the US parks. Instead, offer them a drink of Canadian Club and thank them for the big walleye mount on your wall.
(The keeper thanks Canada for Phyllis and fishing memories, both items of very high quality!)
