Kickass and the Rapture

Attribution: Jan Luyken , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, as curious as the keeper is in religious matters, was surprised to learn that the “Rapture” was a concept of evangelical men formulated sometime in the 1880’s, which may explain some of the “Rapture” no-shows as predicted by subsequent religious seers.

Since the identity of the Rapture as being more or less man-made and having doubtful holy connections, the keeper feels free to suggest amendments if not wholesale remodeling.

First, he would correct an obvious spelling error and call it the “Rupture,” which more accurately describes what is likely to happen when masses of people attempt to rise into the sky.

If that remodeling fails—and it is likely to, the keeper is suggesting a total restructuring whereby the Rapture is thrown out and replaced by the “Descent” which is defined as the day when believers in the concept hold hands and descend as one into the lower reaches of hell.

Though current conditions hint at an eminent “Descent,” the keeper will not be naming a specific day until he runs the concept by Phyllis who may want to delay it until after the coming election.

Photo by Bill Stokes

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