Attribution: daSupremo, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in insisting that a Super Bowl is one full of something good to eat, like Alpo or Phyllis’s “refrigerator” soup; and it is not a bunch of millionaires owned by billionaires banging against each other to possess an inflated egg-shaped ball before a capacity crowd of spectators who paid as much as $10,000 for a ticket on the secondary market.
Imagine that! $10,000 for a few hours of sitting on their fannies with thousands of others who have nothing better to do with a February Sunday afternoon than gather in a “bowl” that would otherwise be empty except maybe for a few stray sparrows.
The millions who are unable to come up with the outrageous ticket prices will comprise a Super Bowl TV viewing audience big enough to put a wobble in the rotation of the planet. It creates a situation whereby at game time the US could be successfully invaded and occupied by Bermuda. (Don’t even think about it, Putin!)
Billions of dollars will be wagered on everything from how many times a SB game ref scratches himself to possible halftime-show dress malfunctions.
The keeper is betting that if Phyllis doesn’t concoct some of her refrigerator soup today, she will do it tomorrow, and that will make for a real SUPER BOWL!
Photo by Bill Stokes