Attribution: DelmerViramontes, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has established that he and Phyllis will be dealing with all future severe winter weather issues from their control recliners and adds that the keeper is hard at work designing an “ejection-recliner” which uses sound activation to forcefully eject a recliner occupant out of his comfort zone and slams him into a dark closet at the first hint of any TV broadcast by Fox Snooze.
With limitless programming possibilities and building on the stand-up assistance feature already available in some recliner models, the keeper’s “ejection recliner” could be set to activate at the simple pronunciation of a name, Trump, for example, or Marjorie Taylor Greene, either one of which would see the recliner occupant violently bounced off the ceiling and sent hurtling into another room, perhaps the bathroom with its convenient plumbing.
A working model of the “ejection recliner,” is on the way, and those interested in preordering are advised to turn off their TVs and pick up a good book since there could be a considerable wait.
Photo by Bill Stokes