Kickass in the Land of Odd

Photo by Bill Stokes

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, fresh from days of self-indulgence over a milestone birthday, wakes up to find himself traveling down a road in the Land of Odd in the company of odd characters seeking the following from the Wizard of Odd: McConnell—a conscience, McCarthy—honesty, Schumer—more guts, Pelosi—filibuster earplugs.

The Odd entourage is accompanied by a dog named Trump-Trump who is not house broken nor neutered and chases cars—big, fancy ones, and has not had his rabies shot.

The group is led down the Odd road by an attractive female named Phyllis who has no interest in Kansas but would accept some way to moderate the Wisconsin winters since she left Arizona to come and live with the keeper.

As the group skips along the road, Phyllis leads them in singing: “Follow, follow the yellow brick road.  Follow the yellow, trickled-on road.  Follow the rainbow of lies to the pot of greed.  Follow! Follow!”

Once the group arrives before the Wizard, Phyllis remands Trump-Trump to the custody of Odd Veterinarians where he is neutered and made acceptable for adoption by a clamoring  flat earth society.

Behind the absurd paraphernalia of his political machine, the Wizard of Odd—otherwise known as Joe, frantically pulls levers and tries to convince Phyllis that he has the power to grant her wishes that some sanity be returned to democracy.

But it all falls apart and the keeper’s final Land of Odd image is one of female feet sticking out from beneath a house, as the Wicked Witch of the West melts and Trump-Trump chases either a prostitute or a Packard off the edge of the flat earth, barking as he goes and then whining as he suddenly discovers that he cannot fly.

(Kickass suspects that the keeper may require modest therapy in recovering from his recent birthday celebration.)

Photo by Bill Stokes

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