Taken for Granted

Illustration by Michael DiMilo By Geoff Carter “Don’t it always seem to go/ That you don’t know what you got ‘til it’s gone/” –“Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell Humans have a peculiar tendency to become quickly accustomed to surrounding circumstances—particularly good circumstances—and then to subsequently take them for granted. The excitement of getting a …
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Kickass and Obedience Commands

Attribution: Elf at the English-language Wikipedia, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, assists the keeper and Phyllis in passing along the suggested responses to the standard “Obedience Class” commands as they have been revised by Musk the Insufferable and his trusty Tin Man sidekick.             *SIT!: Place your hindquarters as …
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Kickass and Liberty or Death

Attribution: Peter F. Rothermel (1812–1895), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, identifies with the keeper’s question of just when does extreme old age become a noteworthy plus by putting a statistical limit on the amount of time a nonagenarian will have to witness narcissistic fools stripping basic human decency …
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Train Wreck

Illustration by Micheal DiMilo By Geoff Carter Watching the confirmation hearings for some of Donald Trump’s new cabinet appointees has run the gamut from unbelievable to harrowing to downright frightening, like a giant runaway locomotive barreling down the track towards a school bus stuck on the tracks. Some of his nominees seem to have no …
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Kickass and the Price of Eggs

Attribution: Eugène Delacroix , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper’s life-long amicable relationship with chickens keeps forcing him to consider the price of eggs as the issue most needing his expert attention, even exceeding the obvious ongoing coup of the US government. The coup, by single …
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Kickass and Oligarch Kennels

Attribution: Maarten Honnebier, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, gives the keeper and Phyllis the morning off and files his personal report on activities at OLIGARCH KENNELS following the recent change in ownership from private to corporate.             *Under the provisions of the “Citizen-Mutts Sold Out” act, OLIGARCH KENNELS will …
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