Attribution:
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper unable to resist a bit of revision of some of the classis from his and Phyllis’s childhood:
“Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard not to get her poor dog a bone but because she couldn’t find her GD phone.”
“Trumpty Dummy sat on the wall. Trumpty Dummy took a great fall. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men said ‘Do it again and again and again!’”
“Little Boy Blue come blow your horn, the sheep are in Mega and the cows like the sheep are being shorn!”
“Little Donnie Horner sat in a corner eating his Christmas pie. He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plumb and said, ‘This is all my pie, I don’t care if you starve and die!’”
“Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after FRK Jr gave her a lethal push.”
“Hey diddle diddle the cat and the fiddle; the cow jumped over the moon. The little dog laughed to see such a sight until he got bashed by the ICE goon!”
“Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider and sat down beside her and frightened Miss Muffet to remember an Epstein day.”
Enough! Enough! The keeper needs to get a job.
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