Attribution: Photo by Ross Sokolovski on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper immersed in yet one more significant inquiry into the quality of life: what will be the results of switching from chicken to duck eggs for his breakfast?
The human and rat studies go on apace, and guidance is apparently not available from JFK Jr, or Humpty Dumpty, both of whom need to be “put back together again.”
The availability of duck eggs resulted from Phyllis’s granddaughter Alexis expanding her and Jared’s hobby farm to include ducks—and small goats, with Phyllis becoming a Madison outlet for chicken and duck eggs, but not small goats.
The keeper’s cursory research tells him that switching from chicken to duck eggs will give him more of everything that is both good and bad for him which means he will either live longer or he won’t and he shouldn’t be intimidated by the prospect of developing heart disease because he already has it.
In the end there is the mental accompaniment that goes with switching breakfast eggs. It is unavoidable to devour a chicken-egg breakfast without occasionally thinking about chickens.
Obviously with his egg switch the keeper now finds his stray breakfast thoughts being about ducks. He will be checking with Phyllis to see if that is considered an upgrade.
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