Attribution: https://catalog.archives.gov/id/303938034, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper having intercepted what is obviously a report from an alien observer of the State of the Union spectacle.
“In yet another mystifying Earth ritual the leaders of the planet’s richest and allegedly one of the most advanced countries assembled with their chosen leader to preform several hours of strange clan calisthenic in which one half of those present stands up and applauds when the leader tells them a story while the rest of the assemblage remains seated, many shaking their heads and scowling.
“It has yet to be determined whether those who stand and sit and stand and sit in apparent endless obedience do so to build leg muscle or whether there might be a possible relationship to the canine obedience study where ‘sit and stay’ is a major component.
“As the strange ritualistic ‘State of’ gathering goes on and on, becoming more unbelievable by the second, your space reporter notes that planet Earth assumes the oval profile of an egg and takes on an ominous wobble.
“Stay tuned—and seated, for outer space updates!”
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