Dialogues on Red State Hubris: Southern Inhospitality

Artwork by Michael DiMilo

Featuring the Fabulous Dadbots: Mark M., Dave S., Mark O., Dennis C., Paul C., and Geoff Carter

This just in from the R dominated volunteer state:

  1. OK to urinate on someone’s seat in the state assembly.
  2. Not OK—expelled: To ignore rules (“decorum”  WTF, exactly is “decorum”?) and speak out against lack of gun control when (3) 9 years old and (3) adults are now dead, assault weapons to blame.
  3. The only (4) to be expelled in Tennessee history did bribery and other heinous acts. The urinator? —no biggie.  Speaking out against gun violence—we can’t have that.  Hats off to the (3) In TN with a conscience to not let this pass.  As I understand free speech was squashed such that these (3) decided they had to break with decorum.  What’s more important?  Free speech or Tennessee decorum? 

“Southern man, better keep your head
Don’t forget what your good book said
Southern change gonna come at last
Now your crosses are burning fast
Southern man

I saw cotton and I saw black
Tall white mansions and little shacks
Southern man, when will you pay them back?
I heard screamin’ and bullwhips cracking”

–”Southern Man” by Neil Young

Much more than half empty,

-D.


First off, my condolences on your Lady Hawkeyes Dave. They deserved better. Not that they were better than LSU, but they should have had their best players on the court when it mattered.

Congrats to the WI majority for correcting the abomination on your Supreme Court. Perhaps things will revert to normal there eventually.

I’ve been pretty soft on Trump lately, but I got a cold slap in the face this week.  The most recent bombast I heard from him reminded me that he is the champion of post-truth fever dream stupidity. I don’t want to deal with his foolishness ever again, and I don’t care what it takes. Legal or otherwise.

MarkO


Kaboooooeeeee!!! and Blammoooooee!!!  Those are the onomonopea sounds (wait, my spell-check must be shut-down–“onomonopea” — is that actually spelled correctly?) Anywayyyy,Those are the sounds of an assault rifle backfiring in the face of the Tennessee state legislature. Besides their other obvious shortcomings as rational and caring human beings and elected officials, these chuckleheads are obviously clueless about “optics”.  

Was there any logical thought process or sensitivity or perhaps an inkling of foresight about the legislature’s decision to remove from office two elected black reps (but not that white lady) for “violating decorum”? Wha..? For being too strident and vocal about wanting action against the atrocity of innocent little kids being shot to death by a pathetic maniac who bought himself a bunch of guns no questions asked?  

At least the Tennessee state house has revealed itself for what it is. So many people see the legislature’s actions as so over the top that I’m sensing a sea-change. The Tennessee legislature has stumbled and tripped hard over the often broken-down WTF meter of the American people–and now the needle on that WTF meter is shaking and quaking and moving it into the red zone. This might be a tipping point where real action is actually taken on the issue of gun violence.  

BTW. Did you know that the toothbrush was invented in Tennessee? Yep. That’s why it’s called a “toothbrush” and not a “teethbrush”. 

–Dennis C.


Arrgghh. Toothbrush, teethbrush. You’re killing me!

MO


Onomatopeia

Speaking in a foreign tongue!

I don’t wanna see ya

–Onomatopeia by John Prine

Per Meet the Press this morning, Tennessee is one of the most heavily gerrymandered states (even more than Wisconsin? I doubt it). Thus these steadfast, decorum-minded Republican etiquette Nazis never face, and never will face, opposition for their Gestapo tactics. So there’s no check on their own dumbness. These guys obviously have not read the book of Mitch McConnell.  From a political point of view, if you are GOP, I don’t care how uppity you think these young black men are, you don’t turn them into martyrs. Hell, even Mitch promoted that minor weapons bill that made it through Congress after the Uvalde massacre. The quote was something like “We’re gonna get killed in the suburbs.”

–Mark M.


Match and raise:

Below not only ‘splains the O word, it does it via one of the greatest action film sequences of all time. Grab a cold one, some ‘corn, enjoy.  (42 seconds)

Batman Onomatopeia

Go ahead and spray your fancy film words at me…your icy Scando directors (….Ingmar Bergman…), the Euros:  Fellini…Leone, Herzog and your funky American upstarts:  Kubrick, Jarmusch,….—Puh-lease…spare me. For my hard earned Nashville dollar, the above is all I need.

Half full:  I worked with a group from Knoxville recently (2020-22). There are many good people in Tennessee. Here are (2) versions of Rocky Top they voted as “project theme song”.  (“….ain’t no smoggy smoke on rocky top…ain’t no telephone bills…”)

Original:

Rocky Top by The Osbourne Brothers

Vintage—so good, so good!

Rocky Top Redux

Finally…if you’re entranced… the lyrics—maybe this explains the assembly’s actions…  Tease:

Rocky Top Lyrics by The Osbourne Brothers

Still dreaming….

-Dave.


Love me some vintage TV Batman.  So cheesy. Also the worst use of onomatopeia in history. Examples like ZAP! and BIFF! to accompany someone’s face making “contact” with a fist or foot. Makes no sense. I think their only purpose is to plaster a huge graphic across the screen to distract the viewer from some really terrible fight choreography.  Clever. But honestly, I think any video could have been slapped together and it wouldn’t ruin the best music soundtrack on TV. The Batman theme is perfect and timeless and the various horn chord blasts during the fight scenes make it all the better.  It absolutely demands an immediate pillow fight with whatever sibling is nearby.  Thanks for making my day with that link Dave.

MarkO


Yeah, Dave.Thanks for the delicious slices of vintage cheesiness.Only the audio was playing when I first clicked your link to the Osbourne brothers rendition of “Rocky Top”. In my mind’s eye I was picturing the band in the faux-hillbilly workin’ men outfits of the hipster bluegrass musicians of today; then the video clicked on to their Lawrence Welk wardrobe.Whoah. Cooool. Gotta love how the matching gold jackets and the white electric (gasp) bass sported by those Osbournes would scandalize many current bluegrass purists.

“Batman!” It really is a classic.I read that the composer of the batman theme, Neil Hefti, had to get paid extra because he was the lyricist as well as the composer of the theme’s music–even though the lyrics consist of only one repeated word–“Batman, batman, batman”. I think that’s kinda awesome in a “stickin’ it to the man” kinda way. Neil also wrote the theme to the “Odd Couple” –which I bet you guys could still hum a few bars of. Nice work, Neil.

DC.


Ah, The Odd Couple–those sophisticados. What a show. What a time. To Mark, I do think those Zaps and Blams were an effort to emphasize the comic book aspect of the Batman. And the campiness translates what–fifty years later? Fuck. Time flies.

You know, this Republican arrogance isn’t really surprising. It’s been around for decades. Act 10 in Wisconsin was nothing but an exercise in the perverted Republican vision that is so parochial, anti-social, and hegemonistic that it borders on envisioning themselves as American royalty. Slash teacher rights, public-school funding, and hand public money over to private schools is nothing if not elitist. 

The very presumption that they think they have the right to tell anyone else how to live, how–and when–to reproduce, or to think (less is more) smacks of the worst kind of aristocratic (autocratic) vision. And they’ve demonstrated they’ll do anything to accomplish and they don’t care–until recently, that is–who knows it. They are shooting themselves in the foot, first with Trump, who brought this MAGA self-righteous egotism to the surface and then to idiots in Tennessee. 

You know, bots—cheesiness aside—we might be seeing a replay of Republican overreaching in Wisconsin. The Republican supermajority in the State Senate is already talking about impeaching Protasiewicz (before she’s even sworn in) on the basis of I’m not sure what. I can only imagine that the outcry here would be just as loud, just as strident, and just as damaging to Vos and his cronies. Bam! Splat! Biff! I’m flashing forward (no flashbacks) to a showdown on the Senate floor between Protowomen and her posse fighting The Evil Vossman and the Red Henchmen. 

I kind of hope they’re stupid enough to try this. I think it will totally backfire in their faces. (Of course, I was thinking the same thing about Trump in 2016).

—Geoff