Attribution: Harry Pot / Anefo, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s tips for watching your weight during the Thanksgiving week: *Do not apply makeup, deodorant or false eyelashes before stepping on the scale in the morning. Do, however, shave whatever you shave, clip your toe and …
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Category:Humor
Kickass and Head Chopping
Attribution: Reuben R. Sallows, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, does his best to keep the keeper from stepping into the bottomless quicksand of life but was unable to deter him from preoccupation with the reality that in order for there to be a traditional Thanksgiving feast somebody has …
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Kickass and Hitler Thanksgiving
Attribution: Muhammad Mahdi Karim, GFDL, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, gives the floor to the keeper as he recalls the Thanksgiving feast at Grandma Helgeland’s when “Hitler” came to dinner. It was the concluding months of WW II and Hitler was the global monster that everyone hated. Hitler was also the …
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Kickass and Dead Battery
Attribution: Wtshymanski at English Wikipedia, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has a message on this foggy morning for the student who parked in the lot next door and trotted off to classes leaving his/her vehicle lights on: “Dear driver: “No matter what happens in …
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Kickass and Thanksgiving Bird Chants
Attribution: Marie-Lan Nguyen, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has been approached by the National Order of Turkeys–“NOT,” to do something about the traditional Thanksgiving Day menu as well as the dispiriting grey-day November weather. Response from AI suggested eating sparrows for Thanksgiving feasting as …
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Kickass Talks to Deer Hunters
Attribution: English: NPS, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, endorses the keeper’s message to Wisconsin deer hunters at 6:45 am on this opening morning of Nov. 23, 2024: “Deer hunters: “Good morning to one and all out there in the blaze orange brigade. It looks to be an overcast …
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Kickass Gets Ready for the Hunt
Attribution: National Archives at College Park , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper’s dilemma in waking up with the strong sensation that he must spend the day preparing for something, but it was not clear just what that was. Finally, it dawned on him that this was …
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Kickass Has a Dream
Illustration by Michael DiMilo By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the word that the keeper is seeking help with interpreting a dream that put a confusing spin on the last hour of his sleep: He is in downtown Chicago with two dogs which he is to deliver to a theatre director for …
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Kickass and Animal Messages
Attribution: Scot Campbell, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, exercising his unique abilities to intercept communications of all kinds, passes along the following: To the sheep: “New dogs—with long legs and sharp teeth, will be replacing the border collies and will herd you with a …
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Kickass and Civilization History
Attribution: Thomas Shahan, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in wondering if it will be something like the great pyramids, a buried terracotta army, giant Easter Island type stone figures or something else that future anthropologists find to prove that the present “civilization” did indeed exist …
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Kickass and Dead Fish Photos
Photo by Geoff Carter By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper is off on a research rampage to determine why it so pleases people—mostly men, to be photographed with a fish, usually a good-sized dead fish and sometimes with a whole string of smaller dead fish? It is a circumstance prominent …
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Kickass and Little Boy Blue
Attribution: Nursery_Rhymes.djvu: Edward Cogger derivative work: Theornamentalist, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper and Phyllis like to remember things from their long-ago childhoods, and the keeper offers the following which he thinks might be appropriate at this time: “Little Boy Blue Come blow your horn …
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