Kickass and One-Legged Peeing

Attribution: Tracey Adams from Atascadero, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, depending on the keeper to know everything, was disappointed when there was no solid answer to the question of whether or not the male human bladder empties faster if the male stands on one leg during the …
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Kickass and Sons’ Behavior

Attribution: Walt Disney , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis in sympathizing with POTUS Joe in dealing with questionable behavior on the part of a son. The keeper, having raised four sons and Phyllis with two, report that, incredible as it may seem, none of …
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Kickass and Clint Eastwood

Attribution: movie studio, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, sits in along with Phyllis as the keeper has an imaginary meeting with Clint Eastwood regarding Clint’s advice to “Don’t let the old man in!” as a directive in living to an over-ripe old age.             Keeper: “You just made another …
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Kickass and Sugarless Pie

Attribution: Kimberly Vardeman, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper as stuffed as a turkey of his kind can get as he and Phyllis were guests at a number of clan feasts, all of them of exceptional quality and quantity and with one memorable oversight:            “Which of …
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Kickass and Gym House Furniture

Photo by Phyllis Stoke By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s account of a return visit to the house that he and his family built on the Mazomanie hill, and where grandson Andy and wife Ari and their three kids have now wisely furnished the living room with gymnastic equipment and …
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Kickass and Holiday Over-Eating

Attribution: Harry Pot / Anefo, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s tips for watching your weight during the Thanksgiving week:             *Do not apply makeup, deodorant or false eyelashes before stepping on the scale in the morning. Do, however, shave whatever you shave, clip your toe and …
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Kickass and Head Chopping

Attribution: Reuben R. Sallows, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, does his best to keep the keeper from stepping into the bottomless quicksand of life but was unable to deter him from preoccupation with the reality that in order for there to be a traditional Thanksgiving feast somebody has …
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Kickass and Hitler Thanksgiving

Attribution: Muhammad Mahdi Karim, GFDL, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, gives the floor to the keeper as he recalls the Thanksgiving feast at Grandma Helgeland’s when “Hitler” came to dinner. It was the concluding months of WW II and Hitler was the global monster that everyone hated. Hitler was also the …
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Kickass and Dead Battery

Attribution: Wtshymanski at English Wikipedia, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has a message on this foggy morning for the student who parked in the lot next door and trotted off to classes leaving his/her vehicle lights on:             “Dear driver:             “No matter what happens in …
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Kickass and Thanksgiving Bird Chants

Attribution: Marie-Lan Nguyen, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper has been approached by the National Order of Turkeys–“NOT,” to do something about the traditional Thanksgiving Day menu as well as the dispiriting grey-day November weather. Response from AI suggested eating sparrows for Thanksgiving feasting as …
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