Kickass Talks to Deer Hunters by Bill Stokes

Attribution: English: NPS, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, endorses the keeper’s message to Wisconsin deer hunters at 6:45 am on this opening morning of Nov. 23, 2024:

“Deer hunters:

“Good morning to one and all out there in the blaze orange brigade. It looks to be an overcast day with visibility thus impaired so be damn careful with your shooting.

“And know up front that you are a predator this morning, nothing more than a simple conduit for the genes of your knuckle-dragging predecessors who hunted to survive.

“At some point, necessity and “subsistence” became “sport” and the fumbling human moral conscience invented the term “fair chase” as a requirement to be applied to modern hunting. This means giving deer a chance to survive the “chase.” Good luck with applying that in these high-tech days.

“If you are lucky and get to the “field dressing” stage, know that as you reach into a warm body cavity to remove organs, it is but one small remnant of how it has been for hunters down through the ages. In Native American style, thank the deer for giving you its life and take a little time to acknowledge your awesome position as a predator at the top of the food chain.

“And consider that the difference between shooting a deer and a sheep is the ever-increasing degrees of domestication involved and the exciting possibility of big antlers to hang on the wall.

“Wisconsin’s opening day has now advanced to legal shooting hours: Good luck and be careful!”