Attribution: Photo by Bill Stokes
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper having recently survived a debilitating genetically conditioned cough through the kind administrations of Phyllis, has decided to sue his long-departed mother for her role in handing off a family cough that she in turn had inherited from her father—dear old Grandpa Helgeland, as fine a skinny old Norwegian farmer as ever plowed a furrow.
As part of reining in a genetic condition gone rogue, the keeper plans to consult with attorneys as to the details of suing his mother—just how legal notices would be served and how any possible court awards would be paid off.
With attorneys demonstrating on a daily basis that there is nothing they won’t do for money, the keeper is confident that such small matters as being long deceased and having no earthly assets will not be a hindrance to the success of his court action.
On a personal note to the keeper’s mother: “Do not take offense, Mom. Along with the genetic cough you also passed on some laudable attributes and I appreciate them, especially the one that allows me enough self-control to share the planet with so many utter fools without going stark, raving mad. You did that without complaining but that part never made it down to me. Thanks, anyway, Mom, and see you in court!”
Photo by Bill Stokes