Artwork: “Money Badger” by Michael DiMilo
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in incredulity that no member of the press has interviewed GerryMander, considering that after he was put in place by big money, places like Wisconsin became brothels for narcissistic “Johns” with perverted ideas about how to have their way with a naive citizenry.
PRESS: Where did you come from, Gerry?
GERRY: I was spawned in the mind of greed and born to a mother with no conscience or humanitarianism.
PRESS: So you admit to absurd unfairness yet you stay in place, how does that work?
GERRY: A combination of innocence and indifference on the part of the citizens who are preoccupied with feeding the kids and cheering for the Packers.
PRESS: Your agents in Wisconsin refuse to confirm the Gov’s appointments. Can you explain that?
GERRY: That is simply my way of preventing decency and respectable traditions from replacing the special interest, out-of-state trolls now running things in Wisconsin.
PRESS: What are your plans?
GERRY: To stay in place, of course, which seems like a sure thing in light of the current legislative chaos.
PRESS: Is there nothing the citizens can do about you?
GERRY: They can try “thoughts and prayers” as that seems to have no effect, and they could vote me out but that is unlikely in view of big money. So in the end, I’m here and I’m staying.
PRESS: Thanks for your time, and we should talk again after the next election.
Photo by Bill Stokes