Tainted Fruit, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, constantly making excuses for the keeper’s inclination to screw things up, is stepping in to try to explain how he—the keeper, managed to confuse Mother’s Day—the first Sunday in May, with Naked Gardening Day—the first Saturday in May.
The keeper blames Phyllis for the blurred calendar focus, pointing out that, while Phyllis is a mother—a very good one to Gina, Kevin and Todd, she is not the “keeper’s” mother, and therefor he does not go all out in honoring her in her mother role.
But Phyllis IS what could be considered the keeper’s gardener, and yesterday when she was out in the side yard of Vista West preparing her raised garden plot for spring planting, she ignored the proviso of “Naked Gardening Day” and was fully clothed.
The keeper did not make an issue of the naked gardening matter—the Vista West gardening area being rather public, but he did mention it to Phyllis. She pretty much ignored him, in a motherly way.
The keeper, forever struggling to be ahead of the game, moves on now to the second Monday in May, which, among other things, is officially designated “Lost Sock Memorial Day;” and he passes along best Mother’s Day wishes to Phyllis and all of the sock-losing moms.
