Kickass and Pence Chasing Cars by Bill Stokes

DonkeyHotey, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, agrees with the keeper that Pence is like a dog that suddenly develops the habit of chasing cars, but only those in funeral processions.

Pence broke from his solid training to sit-and-stay–even in a burning building–when a gaudy political funeral procession passed by with honking horns and dancing pallbearers led by an orange buffoon. It was all too much for the solidly trained Repub Pence and in the tradition of outstanding vice presidents from Indiana, he decided to leave his individual mark by chasing after the funeral vehicles. Unfortunately, by the time Pence made this decision, the procession was out of sight in the cemetery, making Pence a chaser of cars that have long since gone down the road.

Meanwhile in the cemetery, the political pallbearers staged a protest against the grave diggers for not having dug deep enough; and their Orange leader stood on the coffin as it was lowered into the ground while proclaiming that in his case, down was up, and he would see them all—except for Pence, as an archangel in the glorious hereafter.

Unfortunately, according to Kickass, strange things can happen when discipline training goes awry just when the keeper declines to be a “good boy.”