Kickass and Covid Poem

National Archives and Records Administration , Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, despite heroic efforts, was unable to prevent the keeper from wasting valuable nap time composing what he claims is poetry. It isn’t, of course, but then he—the keeper, is overdue for his rabies shot. “You decline vaccines and refuse …
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Kickass and ’32 Chevy

AlfvanBeem, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper’s old-car restoration phase centered around the 1932 Chevy because it took him back to high school days when he had hauled an abandoned ‘32 out from behind a neighbor’s machine shed and drove it on dates despite it having …
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Kickass Eats a Duck

Tesla Delacroix, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is not really a lot of help to the keeper as he—the keeper, tries to formulate a meaningful message to the duck that he ate in dining with Phyllis at Otto’s on a recent night. The keeper, while generally comfortable with being …
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Kickass and Brain Exercise

TapTheForwardAssist, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper and Phyllis opted to pass up their daily exercise class Tuesday in favor of watching the four Capital cops testify at the legislative hearing for the Jan. 6 Capitol insanity. Just what this says about them—the keeper and …
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Kickass and a Call for Action

Unknown authorUnknown author, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is assisting the keeper in mounting an “insurrection” against the infuriating arrogance of the Wausau dentist and cranberry company owner who refuses to step down from his expired term on the DNR Board, thus keeping in place Walker DNR policies …
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Kickass and Vaccine Absurdity

National Gallery of Art , CC0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper—operating under the proviso that dealing with desperate vexations may require desperate means, is suggesting a return to public branding as a means of encouraging vaccinations. Common in 17 and 18th century colonial America, public branding of adulterers, drunks, …
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Kickass Chases His Tail

Lil Shepherd, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is with the keeper in noting that the home planet is either burning up, flooded, or poisoned to become generally unlivable; and vast numbers of residents are refusing life-saving vaccination; and others are insisting that votes do not count unless they …
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Kickass Gets Names Right

Keith Allison from Hanover, MD, USA, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the rest of the Milwaukee world in knowing that the keeper will never learn how to spell Giannis Antetokounmpo, the name of the Bucks star who led the team to the NBA championship; this despite the …
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Kickass and Male Ego Provider

Unknown authorUnknown author, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that it is not uncommon to find the keeper insufferable, but a recent example tested the patience of even a cast iron dog. In his defense, the keeper notes the decreasing opportunities for someone in his age group to exercise …
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Kickass Loses and Finds

Paul Gorbould, CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, sympathizes with the keeper as he—the keeper spends ever increasing blocks of time looking for something he has either misplaced or deliberately put away in a “safe” place. There are cross-species precedents for such non-productive behavior: squirrels looking for …
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Kickass and Evolutionary Top Spot

Pets Adviser from Brooklyn, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, tries to sort through the keeper’s observation that if humans had not evolved as dominant, some other species might be setting human hunting quotas and deciding other human population control issues. Had wolves evolved to the top spot, …
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