Illustration by Michael DiMilo By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s news that several deals between Wisconsin and Florida have been delayed by hurricane Helene, one being the exchange of Fla. Gov. DeSantis for Wis Sen. Johnson, and another having to do with a trainload of Fla. oranges for one of …
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Category:Humor
Kickass and Helene
Attribution: SSEC/CIMSS, University of Wisconsin–Madison (Attribution or Attribution), via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper’s note to hurricane Helene as it prepares to mark its Florida territory using a crude canine method: “Dear Helene: It is not necessary for you to claim Florida as your very own since nobody …
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Kickass and Divisiveness
Attribution: DrunkDriver, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that as the keeper and Phyllis do their best to heed advice to associate with those who might hold contrary political views, all in the interest of reducing divisiveness, they experience times when such activity becomes more of a challenge …
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Kickass and Bird Migration
Attribution: David Whelan, CC0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper and Phyllis, forever attempting to establish their compatibility with the other creatures, woke up this morning of Sept. 23 with a strange sense of motion that they could not identify until they tuned in to the Cornell …
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Kickass and Morning Storm
Attribution: Photo by Kevin Schmid on Unsplash By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper and Phyllis were awakened by the pre-dawn thunderstorm that came grumbling in like a love-hunting tomcat, hissing at the windows, rattling thunder at the darkness and moving on to new territory with the magnificent indifference of thunderstorms and tomcats. Photo …
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Kickass and Oakwood Preserve
Photo by Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the keeper and Phyllis’s appreciation for a priceless hour of therapy on the trails at the Oakwood University Wildlife Area. A rare place where meddling humans have been prevented from interfering with old things naturally getting old, demonstrating the grand cycle that …
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Kickass Sits by the Silo
Photo by Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is occasionally awed at the keeper’s refined dating technique and the smooth way he impresses Phyllis. Yesterday, for example, he agreed to drive her out to Four Winds Farm in Fitchburg where they could sit by the tall silo and eat wood-fired pizza while …
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Kickass and Bridge Trolls
Attribution: Peter C. Asbjørnsen (1812-1885), Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, passes along the information that in his never-ending efforts to be helpful, the keeper acknowledges the statement from one of the major political players that in the interests of informing voters it is not only okay but laudable …
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Kickass and Handsome Rescuers
Attribution: Gamze Yeşildoğan, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper recognizes the unfortunate evolution of the word “fall” from to “fall” in love, or to “fall” for a fast-talking car sales pitch, to its current age-related dominance as to “fall” on your face or your ass …
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Kickass Learns New Game
Attribution: yoppy, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper agreed with Phyllis that in the interests of remaining as relevant to the flow of life as possible it would be a good idea for him to learn a new game—something called “Mexican Trains” which is played …
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Kickass and Taylor Swift
Attribution: Cosmopolitan UK, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, notes the keeper’s less than stellar record of relating to female singers beginning with Dale Evans, including Kate Smith and moving on from the Andrews Sisters to Billie Holiday and Sarah Vaughn. Somewhere when the pop musical focus went from …
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Kickass and New Glarus
Attriution: jgagnon, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, notes that 9/14/24 was one of those beautiful sunny September Saturdays when everyone had a mission, for the keeper and Phyllis it was to head for New Glarus for a late afternoon lunch at “Glarner Stube” which translates to “Living room” …
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