By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, supports the keeper in his rant about water safety as the season approaches when his—the keeper’s clan, and others act on the evolutionary verity that we all came from the sea and it is fun to try to go back there. Little ones cavorting in the sand and splashing …
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Category:Humor
Kickass Marking Time
Artwork by Michael DiMilo By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, having napped through the poetry month of April, including April Fools Day, and Arbor Day, offers the following in a flailing attempt to catch up: TIME The great fanged predator lurks everywhere: In the parking basement it crouches in the …
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Kickass and Being 150 Years Old
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, accustomed to the keeper’s excesses, is not surprised at his—the keeper’s extension of his and Phyllis’s Apr. 13, two-year wedding anniversary acknowledgement, particularly after a recent dinner friend said she and her husband had been together for 60 years. The keeper is aiming for that kind of a …
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Kickass and Women Hikers
Photo by Bill Stokes By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper in being continuously awed by women, but never more so than when it comes to “taking a hike.” There has been recent news of Jessica Killinbeck of Mt. Horeb hiking all of the Dane County parks; and Halora Kiddes, Sun Prairie, …
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Kickass and Cat Monsters of the Night
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, finally realizing the futility of his rants concerning outrageous human behavior, turns his attention to cats, largely on the strength of two stories out of Australia, one documenting a crop-destroying infestation of mice and the other describing a population explosion of feral cats to …
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Kickass and Infrastructure Pine Snakes
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is working with the keeper to define just what improving the infrastructure has meant over the years: a hard surface for the gravel road leading to the one-room country school that is long gone; no more muddy ruts on the way to visit Uncle Ralph, who is also …
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Kickass and Amazon’s Psychic Delivery
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, is working with the keeper to take advantage of the new Amazon policy of making distribution centers out of former shopping malls to facilitate Amazon’s plan to deliver items before they are ordered. Based on the marketing premise—“You may not have wanted this or even ordered it, but …
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Kickass Versus Technology
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, finally settled next to Phyllis in their adjoining recliners, was seeking sympathy from her for what seemed to be an endless litany of humiliations from the tech world: his “smart” car had refused to start for unknown reasons, the car radio switched to heavy …
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Kickass Remembers Hemingway
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that, of course, the keeper’s lifelong Hemingway adulation is stirred by the Ken Burns PBS series now playing, and, of course, he—the keeper, recalls a long ago visit to Key West and a talk with Captain Tony, proprietor of the former Sloppy Joe’s, where Hemingway liked to …
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Kickass and Night Rain Poetry
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, like the keeper, loves April showers for their napability, and as a rainy week looms, he—the keeper, succumbs to what might be diagnosed as a fatal attack of midnight poetry. Night Rain The night rain comes With soft whispering, A gentle earth mother With bath plans to Rinse …
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Kickass and Egg Hunt Covid
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, fresh off the family Easter egg hunt at Kim and Dick’s where he competed successfully with a half dozen little professional egg hunters, is happy to join Phyllis in noting Wisconsin’s great Covid 19 vaccination record, particularly as compared to Florida where a big …
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Kickass and the Easter Chicken
By Bill Stokes Kickass, the doorstop dog, assists the keeper in passing along the following all- American Easter story which has been authenticated by Mother Goose and Rachel Maddow. “Once upon a time, birds ruled the egg world. This meant that chickens, as the chief domesticated bird, were in charge of all egg occasions, including …
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