Illustration by Michael DiMilo
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, is unable to advise the keeper or Phyllis on why one or the other of them often wakes up in the middle of the night, usually to a bladder demand, and is then unable to get back to sleep and must then lie in the dark and review their life from its earliest inception to the present day with its varied and sometimes annoying developments.
Once off on the life-assessment road, the sleepless midnight thinker is easily detoured over to concern for family members’ health and happiness, how old was grandma when she died, did we eat that leftover meatloaf in the fridge or why didn’t I stick with the clarinet so I could play like Pete Fountain?
After hours of this random conscious trivia, during which irritation at your sleeplessness builds and there is frustratingly no logical target for your growing anger except you.
You cannot fall asleep when you are mad at yourself. Might as well get up and make coffee.
And do it quietly because Phyllis is still sleeping.
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