Attribution: Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, joins the keeper and Phyllis and the entire citizenry on this April 5, 2025 to message the demented chief herding mutt that he is not qualified to take the herd down the road to greener pastures and he needs to turn himself in to the misfit political adoption center.
In fact, as the herd gathers in a thousand irate flocks across the country today to inform the orange herding mutt that he is in way over his head and needs to go back to chasing cars and annoying women of all ages, there is new information on why there has never been a “First dog” during any of the orange man’s White House occupancy.
It turns out the “First Dog” job was offered across the board to all dogs but was declined by all after it was learned that the “First Dog” would be required to bite friends, bark at the handicapped and mark territory on Canada.
This, of course, proves once again the superiority of dogs over humans in matters of occupying the couch, going for walks, effortless feeding and recognizing the difference between gently tossed tennis balls and hard driven golf balls.
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