Attribution: Basile Morin, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, sometimes joins the keeper in the morning as he watches the students walk across the parking lot from their parked cars to Memorial High School on the other side of Gammon Road. It is the keeper’s observation that the students regularly follow a diagonal route across the parking lot rather than use prescribed sidewalks and designated pathways. On a recent morning, a white plastic bag came blowing on the morning wind from over where the students park their cars and it followed almost exactly the diagonal parking lot route the students take, even to the point of exiting the lot and disappearing in the direction of Memorial High.
Ever alert to cultural trends, it seems undeniable to the keeper that as the world is further inundated with plastic bags, the evidence that they are now going to high school elevates the issue to a new and ominous dimension: dumb plastic bags are one thing, educated plastic bags would be quite another.
While the keeper feels that his plastic bag concern is appropriate given the current state of official and world affairs, Phyllis discourages him from issuing any executive orders until he sees a plastic bag headed for the University of Wisconsin which is visible on the horizon. That might mean a serious clash of science and utter nonsense beyond all hope of correction, and which we may have already achieved.
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