Kickass and Political Advice by Bill Stokes

Illustration by Michael DiMilo

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper and Phyllis hard at work trying to befriend the incoming administration by suggesting ways for it to identify with old tried and true political words and phrases:

*Change Lincoln’s use of “better angels” to “bitter angles.”

*Rearrange “Fly the flag” to read “Flag the fly.”

*Change the first letter in Muck’s name from “M” to “F” to make him more recognizable among the evangelicals.

*Publicize the meaning of MAGA as “Maybe All Go Ape” and have it printed on the new billion-dollar currency featuring the portrait of Marjorie Taylor Greene.

*Make it compulsory for all bald men to wear comb-over toupees so they are included in the new motto–“off the people, fool the people and ‘bald’ the people.”

The keeper and Phyllis feel it is important to remain political active and they encourage everyone to do so.

All stand: “My country tis of thee, sweet land of stupidity…..”