Attribution: Alan D. Wilson, CC BY-SA 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
.jpg){kind=link}
By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports the keeper calling up his special abilities to communicate with all creatures and passing along comments from some of the birds regarding the recent presidential proclamation making the Bald Eagle the official national bird.
*Turkey–“We have Thanksgiving nailed and if we can get Christmas away from the goose we’ll go for a constitutional amendment to name us as the symbol of the national POTUS voter.”
*Sparrow–“There are so many of us and since we are descended from immigrants we demand to be sent back to England where there is royal horse s— to contribute to our dietary raw material.”
*Robin–“We will be petitioning to have our official song changed from ‘Cheer up’ to ‘Beer up,’ first in Wisconsin and then nationally.”
*Chicken–“What more can we possibly do than we have already done to deserve national bird consideration? Perhaps to announce why we crossed the road: obviously it was to avoid the politicians wearing red hats, carrying hatchets and following a blustering rooster that crows around the clock in a foreign language.”
*Eagle–“All of you shut up and get to work. I’m off to dine on something either aged beyond its expiration date or with a fishy character as befits my exalted national status.”
(Note to all birds: Serious murmuration set for 2026.)
