Attribution: DonkeyHotey, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons
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By Bill Stokes
Kickass, the doorstop dog, reports that the keeper, through his seasonal powers of being bad in these pre-Christmas days in order to make other bad people feel good about themselves, has intercepted Elon Musk’s letter to Santa:
“Listen up, old man. Here’s the new Christmas deal: Ditch the ridiculous red garb and put on some Carhart overalls and barn boots because we are going to be wading through some s—!
(On a personal note, Santa, I have been a good boy as measured on your billionaire scale in that I have adopted the POTUS from the Repub rescue shelter and am taking him for walks, on a tight leash but sans a pickup bag since huge crowds of billionaires follow me and are anxious to do the pickup to use as ammunition for throwing at the commoners.)
For my gift, Santa, I want everything. Please leave it in my garage with the spaceship I will be using to get the hell out of here as soon as the batteries are charged up and my crew of billionaire zombies is in place.
It is possible, Santa, that this may be your last Christmas and I advise you to watch the sky where you might see the POTUS riding on a drone powered by eight tiny billionaires and led by one big one with a huge red nose, which will be me and I will wish you a merry Christmas as soon as my purchase of the North Pole is completed.
Signed: Elon
Do not eat the cookies on the mantel. They are for the POTUS as are all of the wrapped gifts.
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