Kickass and One-Legged Peeing by Bill Stokes

Attribution: Tracey Adams from Atascadero, USA, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

By Bill Stokes

Kickass, the doorstop dog, depending on the keeper to know everything, was disappointed when there was no solid answer to the question of whether or not the male human bladder empties faster if the male stands on one leg during the emptying procedure.

(Female readers–Phyllis take note, are excused at this point.)

The question arose after an unfortunate bathroom mishap in which a fall resulted in serious injuries requiring imagery to eliminate possible broken bones, not the keeper’s bones, but those of a family member with closely shared genes.

The injured party cited the dogs’ lifted-leg peeing posture as evidence of its evolutionary validity and declined to discuss the issue much beyond that.

The keeper will not be doing any original research, but he will be thinking of installing a safety grip bar in his bathroom in case his son Mike visits again over the holidays with more of his original thinking.

The keeper will view the safety bar installation as a form of “marking territory” and part of dealing with a son who has a history.